Shadow Sage, Chapter 4: Control

The sunlight had barely crept over the horizon when Miranda awoke the next morning. Her internal clock was one of the only steadfast things in her life, along with The Creator, and it had rarely ever failed her. She remembered the previous day’s events before she even opened her eyes, so the sight of three patchwork monsters did not startle her. She was, unfortunately, the only one awake that early.

Should I just… stay put? Or can I jump down? Miranda thought to herself. It seems as though I could. Ashen’s body isn’t that tall when he’s sitting down. I bet I could move without waking him up, and it’d just be rude to stay sitting on him. Oh, but if I jumped down wouldn’t he feel it and wake up? Isn’t that how spiders work? Or do they use their eyes to see when something’s caught in the web? Would it be rude to ask him that when he wakes up? But Vriska is on the web and she’s not waking him up… but she’s not moving either. I should stay put. Oh but I’m ON TOP of him, I probably weigh a lot, I mean, he’s big but even he isn’t that big, right? So I should get off of him, I’ve been enough of a bother as it is. But if I move I’ll wake him up, won’t I, and that’ll bother him too!

“I can feel you trembling” Ashen said quietly, slowly lifting the giant part of him into an upright position.

I woke him up anyway she thought mournfully.

“I’m sorry!” Miranda whispered, not wanting to wake up the others as well.

“Are you scared of us now that you can see us in the light of day?” Ashen asked- sadly.

“N-No!” Miranda did NOT feel that way, not in the slightest, “I-I- I’m- I was-”

Although Ashen’s torso could hardly twist and he couldn’t use his arms behind him, his hair was perfectly flexible and he caressed the side of Miranda’s face with the pale, silky strands.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright. No one’s going to hurt you, not right now.”

Another shiver passed through Miranda’s body. She was under no illusions that he was referring to The Tyrant.

“I just, well, I wanted- uhm- to, uh, move. But I didn’t want to wake you up and I’m sorry about that and I was trying to not wake you up but I wanted to get off but moving would bother you so I was kind of- well- uhm, sorta discussing it with myself in my head and I eventually woke you up anyway and I’m sorry,” Miranda blurted out in a rushed whisper.

“If you’d like to get off you can go ahead and do so now,” Ashen suggested gently, “And don’t worry about it. I’m a light sleeper, and I wake up multiple times throughout the night anyway. Besides, it’s dawn, we should all wake up soon, regardless.”

Miranda cautiously slid off the sleek exoskeleton of Ashen’s back and landed on the soft threads of his nest-web. The surface was more slippery than the patchworks made it look, and Miranda fancied it to be a little like ice skating. Or maybe sliding across a stone surface in thick socks was a more accurate description. She clasped her hands in front of her chest anxiously and looked up at Ashen, who was only a tiny bit taller than her when his abdomen was resting on the webbing. His girth still was twice her size, though, and entirely composed of thick muscle and blue-gray skin.

“Are you sure my appearance isn’t frightening you?” Ashen asked skeptically.

“I-I’m sure. You don’t look any different than you did last night…”

“You couldn’t see me as well last night”

“Y-Y- w-well, I guess…” she mumbled, but he did look exactly the same. Her sight was rarely impaired by the darkness.

“…I do look the same as last night?” Ashen asked, not buying her wishy-washy agreement.

“We-well you see, I can see well in the dark, so… uh… the shadows, they didn’t, really, make any difference when it comes to how you look.”

“But my threads were hidden from your view,” he reminded her.

“…” Miranda looked over to the entryway to the nest, where the white netting dissolved into seeming nothingness, “I can’t see them right now either. They’re…” she cautiously wandered over to the edge, “they’re there, but I still have to really squint.”
“…huh” Ashen wandered up behind her, his legs making a gentle clicking noise as he moved. She looked up at him, now practically twice her height- he would be if he stretched his legs to their tallest state- and smiled nervously.

“…You have a very pretty smile Miranda” he told her, his cheeks losing their blue tint to a darker shade of gray. Her own cheeks lost their pallor and she looked awkwardly down at her feet,

“T-th-t-th-th-thankyouAshen” she said in a small, squeak-like voice.

“You’re welcome,” he muttered, pretending to be checking up on how Vriska and Colerigo were doing.

An awkward silence settled between them, Ashen’s third right leg clicking nervously as he bopped it up and down.

_{”I like your smile too”} Miranda admitted in a voice that wouldn’t have been audible if Ashen didn’t have sharp hearing. Hearing those words of course caused that smile to come out and his cheeks lost the last of their blue tint and turned nearly black.

“No one’s ever told me that before” he admitted, clacking his second and third right legs together in a nervous habit.

“No one’s told me that while they know of my powers,” Miranda admitted as well, still looking at her feet.

The two dared to look each other in the eye, and their smiles widened a bit. They were gladdened by the other’s companionship and complement, both unused to the experience. Miranda had gotten complements before, but only from those who did not know of her monstrous abilities.

A sneeze that sounded like a gnomish cannon sounded from behind them, and both turned to see Colerigo propping himself up in his hammock, surrounded by a light haze of black smog.

“Colerigo sneezes out the smoke he’s built up in his lungs when he wakes up,” Ashen told a worried-looking Miranda.

“O-Oh. S-so that’s normal then?”

“There isn’t anything wrong with me if that’s what you’re wonderin’ about” Colerigo drawled irritably. His massive dragon wings stretch slowly out and up behind him; Miranda had seen dragons do such things in the mornings as well.

A slithering noise came from Vriska, who was unwinding her coils slowly, “Colerigo… why do you always have to be so loud in the mornings?”

“Why do you always have to be so annoying always?”

“Because you’re just too cute not to tease~” she chimed with a smirk.

“I will end you.”

“Whyever would you do that, cutie pie?”

“I will end you.”

“And I bet you’ll look adorable while you’re doing it.”

Vriska shot across the webbing and Colerigo jumped into the air, and the two engaged in a wrestling match that reminded Miranda of two puppies play-fighting. Colerigo looked like he was going to win a number of times, but Vriska always did something that Miranda (and for that matter, Colerigo) could never quite catch and she eventually managed to encircle him with her tail and hug him with her giantess half.

“There’s my little boy!” she cooed as she nuzzled the top of his head.

“Let me go!”

“Now, now, is that any way to speak to your mother?”

“You’re not my mom now let me go!!”

“D-do they always do this?” Miranda asked Ashen quietly.

“No. Sometimes I’m the one to pick on Colerigo in the morning,” he said with a smirk. “I could tease you if you like,” he added with a red-eyed grin, the white strands of hair on his head twirling like they were blown by some gale.

Miranda remembered her powers, and shook her head vigorously, stepping away from the giant man.

“H-Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything bad by it!”

Ashen’s hair fell flat and his eyes filled with worry and confusion- what had he done?

“I-I’m sorry, but-well, remember, my powers, they, they’re-” unpleasant memories sunk into the back of her consciousness like spoiled milk into the earth, “-I, I just, I don’t want- I don’t- I- EEK!”

Feeling Miranda’s agitation, the shadows of the forest surrounding them coiled menacingly into the air and wrapped themselves around the limbs of Ashen. Colerigo and Vriska stopped their antics and looked worriedly in the direction of their friend and adopted little human. Ashen looked at his right and then left sides, and tugged harshly on his newfound bindings, ripping off all the shadows attached to his strong limbs.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!!!” Miranda cried, tears seeping into her eyes. She didn’t even have anywhere to run to, the web was four- maybe five stories high and she wasn’t too great of a climber. She could move to the other side of the nest, but then Vriska and Colerigo would be in trouble. Maybe she could take her chances with the thread leading into The Tyrant’s castle, even if she couldn’t see them well.

“It’s alright, Miranda,” Ashen said calmly. His eyes were focused on the shadows, but his expression revealed no pain or even intense concern, “They don’t hurt someone of my stature, and I can break free from them”

“B-B-B- But when I- when they attacked giants it worked then, y-you- you’ll be hurt Ashen!” Miranda was weeping now, still staring in horror at the shadows. The voices, which had remained practically silent when she was busy talking with her new companions, were back in full force, throbbing on the inside of her mind.

Kill the spider, attack the spider, skewer the spider, skewer the spider, impale the spider, impale the- skewer- skewer- impale- spider!

Miranda shrieked when she saw a coil of shade sharpen into a point, much like one of Ashen’s legs, and thrust itself at Ashen. She could have sworn that she was going to lose a friend in that moment, but Ashen batted the spear away like it was nothing more than an annoying insect flying into his face. She had seen people lose limbs from attacks like those, and was confused on top of being distressed. Why didn’t it hurt him?

“Sweetheart,” Vriska cooed gently, her massive hands coming to rest gently on Miranda’s frail shoulders, “it’s alright. You can go ahead and calm down; Ashen’s going to be fine. You’re not hurting anyone here.”

“S-seen! K-killed!” Miranda choked out, still sobbing. She desperately gripped one of Vriska’s hands and begged with her eyes to be understood.

“We’re not normal giants, honey. We can take a hit that’d kill most people, and Ashen hasn’t even been struck yet.”

It was true, Ashen stood there, his lower ligaments were encased in writhing shadows, but he was unscathed.

Miranda slowly, slowly, slowly, managed to calm down. Every attack on Ashen made her heart speed back up, but Vriska held her gently, sharing warmth, and Ashen spoke with enough unconcern that she eventually managed to calm down after roughly half an hour.

The experience was stressful for all four of them, although Miranda was the only one to show signs of such.

“I’m sorry,” she wept for what seemed like the thousandth time, and fell to her knees, “I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, shh, it’s alright dear,” Vriska reassured, for what seemed like the 500th time.

Ashen- flicking off the remains of the shadows from his legs- approached her and scooped her up, hugging her to his chest like a child.

“…No wonder master wants you” Colerigo muttered, his tail flicking back and forth at an agitated speed.

“Wh-wh- I- I’m s-sorry Colerigo I didn’t hear you” Miranda said quietly, feeling as useless and as much of a problem as they come.

Colerigo dropped down from his perch on one of the tree branches and slunk over to Miranda. He put a hand on her forehead and yellow eyes met black, “You’ll be okay.”

Miranda looked down at him and smiled a watery smile.

“I’m so sorry everyone”

“It’s alright. We’ll just have to remember not to tease you is all” Ashen murmured into her hair. She rested her head against his chest, and under the skin she heard his heart beating, steady and low, rhythmic and reassuring.

She giggled, “Ashen… I can hear your heartbeat”

“Well, your head is right there.”

“It’s very calming.”

The whispers in her mind slipped into a hushed white noise as the sound of the steady heartbeat took prevalence.

“…You should stay here when we go out hunting” Colerigo said after a time.

Miranda nodded, she didn’t think she was up for a whole lot more excitement that day.

“We should go out hunting now,” Vriska reminded. “Why don’t you boys go out and I’ll stick with Miranda, and then I’ll hunt when you’re done?”

“I’ll stay with Miranda, I haven’t felt anything run into my web all night,” Ashen stated.

“As you like” Colerigo shrugged and took off, his wide wings temporarily blocking out the sun from the sky opening in their little enclosure.

“Don’t mind him, this is just an awkward situation for him and he’s avoiding sticking around any longer than he has to” Vriska told Miranda with a smile before slithering out the opening that had the invisible threads. Miranda watched as Vriska skillfully maneuvered her body so that she was using her hands to grip branches and her tail to “grip” whole trees so she didn’t fall the entire distance down to the earth below.
She looked up at Ashen, who smiled apologetically down at her, “I’m sorry, Miranda, I should’ve remembered I would scare you.”

She shook her head, “It’s my fault. I can’t control my powers…”

Ashen pet the side of her head, “It’s alright, it’s alright, no one’s ever taught you how.”

Miranda looked at her hands, and then back up at Ashen, “Ashen… I think that’s the first time I’ve stayed put through an attack and no one’s died…!”

Ashen chuckled, “Well, that’s good then…” He looked away, his eyes growing cold and dead inside.

“A-Ashen?”

“You’ll see a lot of death, living here, Miranda. If this existence can truly be called living. There is… a lot of death.” He tightened his hold on her to just short of painful and stared into open space, his thoughts elsewhere. “There is… no end to it…”

Miranda hugged the thick neck of her new friend, “A-Ashen?”

“Yes?”

“There will be one day,” she said, somewhat uncertainly but with an undertone of conviction.

“Oh really?” Ashen asked, a bitter mirth returning to his voice, “And you can be certain?”
Miranda nodded, “Evil things can’t exist forever”

“Sure they can.”

“It might seem like he’s winning, but he won’t. The Creator won’t let him win.” The last sentence she said with such utter conviction, such pure belief, that for a moment, Ashen believed it too.

Then he laughed ruefully and Miranda felt a twinge of pain from his tight embrace, “The Creator is a child’s tale.”

“…” Miranda was always afraid of confrontation, and she had been mocked for her beliefs just as often as she had been hated for her powers, but even though the idea of arguing with Ashen was terrifying, she still said, “I feel him, in my heart. He’s been the only one beside me all these years. And he loves you too, Ashen, even if it doesn’t seem like it.”

Ashen was going to argue, he was going to open his mouth and tell Miranda to abandon such naїve ideas, but then thought to himself Why bother? “You… can believe that if you like, but I do not share the opinion.”

Miranda let out a sigh; he hadn’t mocked her or jeered at her, and had even been civil about the difference in beliefs. “Okay.”

When Colerigo- who could hunt from the sky- returned, Ashen left to check the mini-webs that weren’t attached to his massive, main web that was interlinked through many, many trees. Miranda had a similar conversation with Colerigo that she had had with Ashen, certain that Colerigo would not be as civil as the gentle spider and she was correct on that part. Colerigo told her she was stupid for believing in such things and that she’d be better off if she just accepted the cold, harsh reality of the world now. She clammed up, but her faith remained unchanged. Vriska, too, ended up having a similar conversation with her, after Ashen had returned and conversation wound its way back around to the subject, and gently told Miranda that such tales were nice for children, but she was a half-serpent weapon belonging to The Tyrant.

Even in the face of it all, quiet, timid Miranda’s faith remained personally unchanged. And all four of them were fine.

They eventually got to talking about how Vriska was able to unhinge her jaw in order to swallow animals whole, like a snake, when Ashen snapped up into a rigid posture and his skin paled to a light blue.

“A-Ashen?” Miranda asked from her position at his base- in between his legs and leaning back on his hardened, giant belly.

“It’s Master…” he murmured quietly. “He’s calling for us” he hissed.

Vriska uncoiled herself and Colerigo begrudgingly propped himself out of his hammock, and Ashen picked up Miranda and placed her on his spider back.

“Miranda” Vriska called, her voice turning colder with every inch closer to the palace, “Please understand that we will act, around the others, exactly how we acted when you first arrived. That does not mean we no longer like you, or that we really feel that way toward you, but that we’re keeping up appearances.”

Miranda nodded. She’d try not to take anything they said to her personally while they were around other people. All four of them fell completely silent when they passed through the large, open window, and Colerigo folded his wings about himself protectively.

Kill them kill them kill them rip them tear them skewer them strike them grip them grope them kill them rip them pull them make them cryyyyyyy

The shadows’ voices grew louder and louder, until finally they became nearly unbearable and Miranda felt that she might not hear anything in her ears through the chaos in her head.

“There’s my pretty little puppet”

She was wrong. That voice, that putrid, vile, wretched voice pierced through the screaming whispers like a needle through faded cloth. Ashen lowered her to the ground and she trembled on her feet, refusing to look at the hideous source of the disgusting voice.

She heard him laugh, grossly, before he said “Are you ready, puppet, for your trail run?”

She quivered harder, and barely managed to shake her head no in the tiniest of motions.

“Ah, what a pity,” he gloated, “you’re going to anyway. Bashar, hold her,” he ordered and Vriska did as she was bid. Vriska’s warm, gentle hands wrapped around Miranda’s trembling arms and waist in an unbreakable- but not painful- vise. The Tyrant had silently moved forward at one time or another and suddenly gripped Miranda’s jaw, forcing her chin skyward and her mouth open. A repulsive liquid was forced down her throat and the taste made her desperately want to hurl. But he must have spelled it or some such thing, because her body would not cooperate and the poison stayed in her gut.

Miranda’s vision started to blur, and then her knees gave out from under her. Her head spun like she had a fever and her ears rang. And, in her weakened state, her amateur mental block fell, allowing the voices of the shadows around her to enter her brain without the slightest hindrance. She felt she might go insane.

Words, from Old Common, were being said by The Tyrant and Miranda- although fluent- could not quite make out what he was saying. Then her legs were firm underneath her again, and her trembling ceased, but it was not of her own volition. Vriska let go, and Miranda stepped forward twice, without her brain telling her feet to do such a thing, and then did a little twirl, her eyes passing over the hard, hateful faces of her newfound friends only when her head was directed that way.

She had no control over her movements. She could see only what was directly ahead of her eyes, and while she wished her feet would stop with all the thoughts in her brain, they continued to dance to someone else’s tune.

”Creator watch over me,” she begged silently as The Tyrant laughed sickeningly.